Awesomely Funny Piano and Music Jokes
Jokes about music are amusing and plentiful. Some music jokes even poke fun of some very different-sounding instruments and even the cliché lifestyle of struggling musicians. Here is a comprehensive list of piano and general music jokes that are sure to cause hilarity and side-splitting laughter!
What is the difference between a piano and a fish?
You can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish.
How did the piano get locked out?
He forgot his keys.
What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.
Why are pianist’s fingers like lightning?
They rarely strike the same place twice.
What did a piano player say to a tightrope walker?
You better C sharp or you’ll B flat!
What does a piano player dream about?
Why is an 11-foot concert grand better than a studio upright?
Because it makes a much bigger kaboom! when dropped over a cliff.
What do you get if you run over an army officer with a steam roller?
A flat major.
Did you hear about the stupid pianist who kept banging his head against the keys?
He was playing by ear.
How is life like a piano?
What you get out of it depends on how you play it.
Why was the piano player arrested?
Because he got into treble.
What has 88 keys but no locks?
Why was the piano laughing?
Because someone was tickling its ivories.
Why do pianos get so many headaches?
Because their strings are under so much tension.
Why was the piano invented?
So the musician would have a place to put his drink.
A note left for a pianist from his wife:
“Gone Chopin, have Liszt, Bach in a Minuet.”
General Musician Jokes
What do you call a musician who just broke up with his girlfriend?
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
Because they always ran around going “Bach! Bach! Bach!”
What do you get if you enroll in a liberal arts program and the only subject you do well in is music?
A natural major.
What’s messy and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven’s First Movement.
Why doesn’t anyone know where Mozart is buried?
Because he’s Haydn!
How do you get a conductor out of a tree?
Cut the rope.
What did the drummer get on his IQ test?
What do you have when a group of conductors are up to their necks in wet concrete?
Not enough concrete.
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
What do you call a fish musician?
A tuna fish!
Did you hear that they found Beethoven after all these years?
He was decomposing!
Brass Instrument and Horn Jokes
Tuba player: Did you hear my last recital?
Friend: I hope so.
What’s the difference between a baritone saxophone and a chain saw?
Why can’t a gorilla play trumpet?
He’s too sensitive.
What is the difference between a dead trombone player lying in the road, and a dead squirrel lying in the road?
The squirrel might have been on his way to a gig.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
What is the difference between a French horn section and a ’57 Chevy?
You can tune a ’57 Chevy.
How many trombonists does it take to change a light bulb?
Just one, but he’ll do it too loudly!
What’s the range of a tuba?
Twenty yards if you’ve got a good arm!
What’s the definition of “nerd?”
Someone who owns his own alto clarinet.
Guitar, Drum, Violin, and Bagpipe Jokes
What do you call ten bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?
What does it mean when a guitar player is drooling out both sides of his mouth?
The stage is level.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
A fiddle is fun to listen to.
How do you make a cello sound beautiful?
Sell it and buy a violin.
What do you call someone who hangs out with musicians?
What’s the least-used sentence in the English language?
“Isn’t that the banjo player’s Porsche?”
How do you know when a drummer is knocking at your door?
The knock always slows down.
How can you tell if a violin is out of tune?
The bow is moving.
What’s an accordion good for?
Learning how to fold a map.
Why do bagpipe players walk while they play?
To get away from the noise.
What’s better, a violin or a viola?
A viola. It burns longer.
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